There comes a crossroads in the healing process when the desire for revenge hits hard. You want to get even, to give them a taste of the hurt they left behind. With Mr. Low-Rise, I was no different. Part of me wanted to storm through his life like a one-woman hurricane—light his house on fire (figuratively, of course), toss his beloved saggy pants off the nearest bridge (community service at this point), and maybe give him a good reminder of his own baseball bat he kept everywhere except the field.
But really, what would that even accomplish?
That’s arson,
That’s theft,
That’s battery.
Sure, the thought of getting back at him, of making him feel even an ounce of what he put me through, sounds like a quick fix—a few moments of satisfaction. But here’s the catch: after the thrill fades, I’m still left holding onto all that negativity. Revenge might feel powerful in the short term, but it keeps you tethered to the very pain you’re trying to move beyond.
This weekend, I sat with myself, thinking about how far I’d come, and I realized that something had shifted. Somewhere along the way, the urge to “get even” had lost its hold over me. And that’s when it hit me: my peace isn’t found in plotting his downfall or nursing my grudge like some twisted pet. My peace comes from letting go of his energy and fully stepping into mine.
Because here’s the funny thing about the “need” for revenge: the best revenge is actually in not needing it at all. I realized I don’t have to do a single thing for him to feel the consequences of his own choices. He still has to wake up every single day and live with himself. He has to walk around with that same personality, those same saggy pants, and those same flaws that can’t be fixed by anyone but him.
So, no. I don’t think you need to seek revenge, because at the end of the day, they still have to wake up every day and be exactly who they are. Mr. Low-Rise still has to pull up those jeans that hang just a little too low, giving the world a perfect glimpse of his choices. And that? That’s the best revenge of all.
