The late Princess Diana once said, “There were three of us in this marriage, so it was quite crowded.” And boy — have I never related to those words more.
There’s a particular kind of heartbreak that doesn’t come from cheating. It doesn’t come from screaming matches or dramatic endings. No, this one is quieter… trickier… more confusing. It creeps in when you’re not officially anybody’s anything — but your heart is still very much involved.
-JIW
It’s the moment you realize that every memory you’re trying to build with him already has a shadow in it. A shadow shaped like her.
And look, I’m not here to demonize girl best friends. I’m sure some are lovely. But for those of us who’ve ever been the other girl in a situationship where he swears, “She’s just my best friend,” — you know exactly what I mean.
You sit on FaceTime with him, and her voice chimes in the background.
You make plans, but he changes them because she needs him.
You finally let yourself hope that maybe this is going somewhere —
And then he tells you he’s going on vacation. With her.
It’s like death by a thousand papercuts. Because every time you speak up, you’re “overreacting.” You’re “being insecure.” You’re “reading too much into it.” And so you swallow it down. Again. And again. Until your heart is heavy with everything you never got to say.
This blog post is for the girls who are tired of being made to feel crazy. Who always get labeled as too sensitive when really… you just wanted to be chosen. You wanted to be considered. You wanted to stop feeling like you were applying for a position that someone else already had tenure in.
And maybe the worst part? You start to lose pieces of yourself. You dim your light to avoid looking “jealous.” You apologize for feeling, and then you spiral later because you know you shouldn’t have to.
But hear me when I say this:
You are not crazy. You are not dramatic. You are not asking for too much.
You are asking for space to love without competition. For clarity in a world that’s mastered the art of the gray area. For respect that doesn’t need to be begged for. And you deserve all of it.
So to the girl reading this with tears in her eyes, questioning whether it’s just her — it’s not. I see you. I am you. And just like Princess Di, I know what it’s like to be in love with someone who never fully made room for you.
It’s crowded. It’s confusing. And it’s not your fault.
But here’s what I’m learning — and maybe you are too: we don’t have to stay in rooms where we’re only halfway invited. We don’t have to fight to be seen in someone’s world when we deserve to be celebrated in it.
If he wanted you to feel secure, he would make sure you never had to question your place. If he truly valued you, your feelings wouldn’t be seen as a threat — they’d be honored.
So let this be a soft goodbye to being the understudy in your own love story. Let it be the moment you choose yourself — not out of bitterness, but out of deep, quiet power. Because the kind of love you deserve? It doesn’t come with disclaimers, or fine print, or third-party emotional entanglements.
It comes full. It comes honest. And when it does, you’ll never have to ask, “Where do I stand?”
To every girl who’s ever felt like the background character in the boy she liked’s life — you’re not alone. You are art. You are warmth. You are so much more than someone’s emotional pit stop.
And until that love finds you, promise me this: you’ll keep loving yourself like you’ve already found it.
With love,
JIW 🤍
