Let’s be honest: most of us weren’t raised on healthy communication—we were raised on Tumblr quotes and situationships. So when a breakup (or even a non-breakup) hits, our first instinct isn’t healing… it’s spiraling. But let’s try something different this time.
This isn’t your mom’s advice column. This is for the girlies who still check his Venmo activity and have a fake name saved for him in their Notes app. Welcome. Let’s get unhinged… strategically.
💌 Closure Is a Scam
If you’re still waiting for him to give you some profound explanation for ghosting, cheating, or just being emotionally unavailable, let me save you the time: it’s not coming. And if it does, it won’t make you feel better. It’ll just reopen a wound you were finally starting to bandage.
Closure isn’t something he gives you. It’s something you give yourself when you realize *you deserve more* than decoding mixed signals and rewriting his texts in your head.
🧠 Rewrite the Narrative
Stop romanticizing someone who made you question your worth. You weren’t “almost” something magical. You were fully yourself, and he didn’t show up. That’s not tragic. That’s data.
Reframe the story. Instead of “we almost had it all,” try “he almost had *me* and fumbled.”
🚫 Block, Mute, Archive, Repeat
You don’t need to see his IG story of him reposting a quote about healing. You don’t need to accidentally like his new girl’s photo from 2021. You don’t need access to people who hurt you.
The block button isn’t petty — it’s powerful. It’s how delusional girls set boundaries while still being hot.
🛍 Delusion Is a Soft Launch Back to Sanity
Make up the breakup story you wish were true. Tell your friends, “Yeah, I broke up with him. He was obsessed with me and I got bored.” Start believing your own press release.
Delusion isn’t denial. It’s a buffer. It gives you just enough space to breathe, to heal, to unfollow. Use it wisely.
✨ The Real Glow-Up? Peace
Revenge bodies are cute. Silence is cuter. You know what really gets to them? You thriving in peace, not checking their socials, not posting cryptic quotes. You’re just out here… healing. Glowing. Living your damn life.
So if you’re sitting here wondering whether to text him one last time, don’t. Archive the chat. Close the tab. Block the number. Then go light a candle, blast SZA, and plan your next move like the icon you are.
You don’t need him to say sorry. You just need you to say: I’m done.
