Things being broken can sometimes be a good thing or a bad thing.

For example:

  • Breaking in a fresh pair of Christian Louboutins – VERY good.
  • Your former joce who ghosted you breaking no contact – NOT so much.

So imagine my surprise when none other than Mr. Low-Rise himself broke no contact. Yes, the same Mr. Low-Rise who couldn’t commit to pulling his pants up, much less to a relationship, sent me the infamous “Hope ur good” text.

And honestly, what was I supposed to say? Apparently, replying with “No, tf I’m not. I’ve had three emotional crash-outs because of you,” isn’t the way to go. But seriously, what is it about these exes that makes them think a casual check-in will fix the mess they left behind?

I mean, his pants were hanging lower than my self-esteem post-breakup, and now he’s back as if he didn’t pop out with some girl other than me on National Boyfriend Day? Oh, the audacity!

Let’s be real, this isn’t about me being good. It’s about him needing to check if the door is still open. Spoiler alert: the door is closed, locked, and bolted shut—just like those saggy pants should have been. (I realize this now, but in the heat of the moment I did in fact reply with the words “Are you good.” I know. Not my best work)

The truth is, we all have a Mr. Low-Rise in our past—someone who thought leaving meant they could waltz back in like nothing happened. But here’s the kicker: I’ve learned to value what I deserve. And what I don’t deserve is a man who can’t even be bothered to use proper grammar or punctuation when breaking my heart.

So the next time you get a “Hope ur good” from your own Mr. Low-Rise, remember this: you are more than good. You’re great. You’ve outgrown the guy who couldn’t even pull himself together, much less his pants.

And as for me? I’ll be out here breaking in my Louboutins, and sometimes no contact, because at the end of the day, I am just a girl.

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