A survival guide for the girlies who are tired, offline, and too emotionally maxed out to reply to a “you up?” text.
Let’s start here: friendship in 2025 is a full-time job. Texting back, keeping up with everyone’s emotional support crises, commenting “SLAYYY” on every single post, showing up in real life, AND remembering their ex’s dog’s birthday? Babe. That’s a lot. Especially when your own life feels like it’s running on 2% with no charger in sight.
Here’s the thing no one wants to say out loud:
You love your friends. You care deeply. But sometimes you literally cannot answer one more “Hey can I vent real quick?” without your brain short-circuiting. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you… overstimulated. And girl, that’s valid.
When the Noise Never Stops
You wake up to 47 texts, 6 TikToks, and a voice memo that starts with “okay so I’m spiraling.” You go to work, fake laugh through meetings, come home, scroll through highlight reels of everyone else thriving, and by the time someone calls you to talk — you’re DONE. You physically cannot hold another emotional bucket that isn’t your own.
But instead of resting, you spiral. You start thinking:
- “Am I a bad friend?”
- “Do they think I’m ignoring them?”
- “Have I become the flaky one?”
And that guilt? It eats you up faster than a 3am scroll through your ex’s new girlfriend’s Instagram.
But Here’s the Truth:
You are not a bad friend for needing rest.
You are not a bad friend for needing space.
You are not a bad friend for being a real, human person with a real, messy life and a brain that’s just trying to stay afloat.
Try Saying This:
“Hey love, I’m feeling super overstimulated this week. I just need a second to regroup. I care about you and I’ll check in soon.”
It’s honest. It’s clear. It doesn’t require an essay or 50 disclaimers. And if they’re really your friend? They’ll get it. They won’t make it about them. They’ll say “of course” and mean it. And if they don’t? That says more about them than it ever said about you.
Reset Tips for the Socially Exhausted:
- Mute the group chat: They’ll survive. You need quiet.
- Don’t force the hangout: If you’re not up for it, just say no.
- Archive the drama: You don’t need every crisis on your plate.
- Take an off-grid weekend: Romanticize going ghost. Put your phone on DND and romanticize the peace.
Final Thoughts
You don’t owe anyone 24/7 access to your energy. You’re not a therapist. You’re not a support line. You’re not a failure for needing to disappear and recharge. You’re still a good friend — just a tired one. And the people who really know you? They’ll understand that without needing an explanation.
So take the nap. Ignore the texts. Reset your nervous system. You’re not disappearing — you’re just protecting your peace. And when you come back? You’ll be better, brighter, and still the realest one in the group chat.
With noise-canceling headphones and soft girl energy,
Your Chief Spiral Officer, JIW
